To much going on

I’ve revolved half my life around my hearing loss, probably one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made not to mention suppressing feelings and emotions when it all first occurred. It not something you want to face at the time, though it not something you want to face three years later on either. Allot of things have changed since the last time I blogged. I don’t think I’ll no longer be getting a hearing dog, after waiting three years! All because of my parents buying a German Shepard puppy. I’ve been made aware that the only way my application can continue is if I move out from my parents this is a huge step! I have no security and I can barely look after myself as it is. I can’t imagine what It would be like to be alone fending for myself in a little box flat, is it really what I want? Then again I don’t have a clue what I want these days. I feel so lost still. I have done for the last three years and having anxiety and depression really doesn’t help the matter. I kinda have forgotten who I am. The things I use to find joy in doing the things I loved learning about. I’ve kinda forgot my qualities and skills too. I guess you could say having any kind of loss wether it’s a loved one a sense or friend can makes you feel like this. Loss is loss and our whole life is altered because of it. One thing I can’t deal with very well is change and this is one pretty big change and all I can think about it time that is being wasted overthinking, sleeping and avoiding.